Yesterday we decided to visit Malaga city, to view the Christmas lights and do some shopping. We first went into the train station, some of the shops in that building are wonderful. Also … it was warm and easy for me to negotiate.

The first store we entered was a “fashion jewellery boutique”, I saw something that interested me (as a possible “inexpensive” Christmas gift for my daughter). When I was approaching my daughter briefly lifted a necklace that she liked and thought I might find attractive. It was lovely, for this type of jewellery. An assistant who had watched me “like a hawk out hunting” shot over and very rudely (and in a patronising manner) spoke to my daughter while staring at me. The comment (in brief) was “don´t touch the jewellery”. Okay that´s fine … but one large Spanish gentleman touched everything he liked – not a word said.

Was this racism?

My daughter was quite happy to continue looking, with the intention of buying. I was not. Having a very quick temper, I told my daughter that I was leaving – having had every intention of buying, I had changed my mind and would not buy from a store who employed staff who were rude, very unwelcoming and patronising. Did she speak English? By the look on her face at the comment I would say so.

Did the assistant looked surprised when I “sailed” out of the shop in “high dungeon” – glowering at her in passing. You can bet your life she did. They were not doing a roaring trade. We passed by the shop twice more, no one was buying any of the produce, in fact – there was no one in the store.

And who can blame customers for boycotting them.

Clearly she needed training in approaching customers and also picking out possible thieves – I am not a shop lifter, at 65 with mobility problems and clearly not in good health, it must have been obvious that I could not run to escape the security, hobble maybe, escape absolutely not.

While on the subject of shop lifters, I did see two women later with large interesting pockets on the inside of their loose fitting coats, carrying lots of bags. They came and sat beside me then proceeded to empty their pockets which were full of goods they had stolen (two pairs of fashion boots, pretty loungerie, small leather goods like wallets and evening bags, perfume and make up items to name but a few. They then removed the safety tags and placed the goods in bags with the names of stores on them, discarding the security tags in a bin nearby. Very well organised. Did they look like shop lifters? Well dressed and groomed, Spanish, looked like mother and daughter out on a shopping trip together; I am sure the assistant we had problems with would not have given them a second glance.

I love this liqueur – enjoy drinking it, enjoy using it in cooking especially for sponge puddings, cakes, frostings and fillings and sauces. So … when I found a potentially wonderful recipe online for a cream sauce recipe using Glayva, I had to have a look with a view to making it! Some people think using this liqueur in cooking is an abomination – not me!

Many years ago I enjoyed my Lemonade with a tot of Whisky and ice – the opinion of my male colleagues was “a waste of good Whisky”. My boss replied “it flavours Moe´s lemonade, if that is what she wants to drink then what gives you the right to criticise”. “We each enjoy or drinks in different ways”, “not all of us are connoisseurs, nor do we want to be”.

What a disappointment when I read the comment – it was referred to as “an orange flavoured liqueur” used to replace a popular orange liqueur in this recipe.

To quote the brief description from the Glayva website it is  ”An exotic fusion of the finest aged Scotch malt whiskies, a carefully selected range of spices, Mediterranean tangerines, cinnamon, almonds and honey“.

Hardly an orange flavoured liqueur now is it?

In my humble opinion (and I am no connoisseur) this lovely drink is best served over ice. First, the taste of Whisky (not Whiskey – wrong country), followed by the subtle taste of tangerines, almonds, herbs and spices – a lovely taste to be savoured slowly followed by “a rewarding afterglow”. Sip slowly, enjoy every last drop, this is a drink to be relished!

I digress – my main point is – Glayva is not an “orange liqueur” or even an “orange flavoured liqueur” – the main ingredient is Scottish Whisky with a subtle hint of tangerines, almonds, herbs and spices. Absolutely fabulous.

After having one of our sites attacked over a period of 2 to 3 days (all 24 hours) – not sure which it went on for so long. I wonder … who has the time to spend doing these stupid things. His reason for attacking one of our sites is not clear as it is not one of the top sites on the web. My daughter tells me it isn´t personal, it´s automated (whatever) … when someone does this to my site (my favourite site), when a person wastes my precious time doing stupid things, then it becomes personal.

We know who the person is; we know in which town he lives; we have server information and believe it or not – an email address. Though when he (and I am sure it is an “he”), finally realised we were on to him, he tried to cover his tracks. He failed, though of course he could be guilty of identity theft which is a different ball game!

Last comment on this ever … this man really needs to get a life, find something useful to do that will benefit society, find a girlfriend or partner, sell his computer.

I am told my “rants” are famous but I doubt it, but what the hell, here I go again.

I had a lovely recipe, handed down through generations – well two at least for this simple filling for light sweet bread rolls that were topped with zesty lemon icing. I lost it! Why – because some stupid person who has nothing better to do decided to send a bug or Trojan horse or virus or whatever to our computer which somehow managed to get through several levels of security and took said computer over – I lost about 20 of my very old and treasured recipes, my books are still in the UK, at least I hope so.

Now -after searching the Internet for two hours, all I can get is the French version. It isn´t as simple and it isn´t as tasty as the one my old Mum and Grandma made.

So I am having a b****y paddy about it.

Going off at a tangent, why is it that many of our lovely old recipes that are not so famous are being “reinvented” by “celebrity chefs” and given French names. Is it because our “chefs” are so into naming all our dishes in “French” to make them sound just that little bit “posh” and different, more sophisticated even? It seems that all our food hailed from France (maybe I exaggerate just a tad), then we just gave said dish an English name and claimed it as our own.

I mourn the loss of my recipe, but I will not use crème patisserie, which is absolutely lovely in its place – but its not in my light fluffy British sweet bread  roll with Confectioner´s Custard or Cream (the British version) with lovely zesty lemon icing.

Rant over, for the time being. Looks like I need to hunt down an old British cookery book for baked goods, preferably from someone who was “born and bred” in the county of my birth – Yorkshire!

And then there are people who insist on calling our “pouring custard” by the French name “Crème anglaise”  - even when they do not speak French and are not French and reside in the UK. Please save me from the pretentious i****s amongst us.

I have a lovely recipe made when I first came out to Spain four and a half years ago for the humble Jaffa cake. I missed the McVitie´s brand of these delightful little cakes so much that I decided to make up my own recipe (no other brand will do). My own pastry, my own filling and my own topping – took me ages to get it just right.

Then I am looking on the Internet and what do I find? Yes, my recipe, virtually word for word, just odd changes. I am so upset. Just had a little weep. I know it is silly, I probably should not have put it on one of my sites and I am aware that many people “borrow” or even “steal” recipes, many give acknowledgement where it is due. This top chef in the UK did not! Unfortunately it is not the first time one of my recipes has been taken by a British TV chef as his/her own, no doubt it will not be the last.

If they use my idea, make up their own recipe, then I have no problem – this is how recipes evolve.

But, folks – is this totally dishonest or what?

What really gets me is the “copyright notice”, that is rubbing salt into the proverbial wound.

The weather here in “Sunny Sedella” is dire. Well, maybe I exaggerate just a little, but we are in the middle of yet another bout of very heavy rain, with the occasional clap of thunder thrown in. We have lived here for 7 months, experiencing cold, heavy rain, hail, snow and electrical storms – several of which were quite magnificent – and one extremely loud one that I apparently slept through. And yes, I do realise the weather in the mountains can be a little … chilly … at times!

Easter was “rained off”, the procession did not take place and I do not have any expectations that Spring Bank will be any better, unless there is a dramatic improvement. Though we do have one day where the forecast gives a maximum temperature of 24ºC.

I live in hope that one day soon, I will be able to go down to the nearest beach and swim in the beautiful Mediterranean sea.

And on top of that we both have “grippe” or “influenza”!

On a lighter note, my favourite actor Johnny Depp has another “Jack Sparrow Movie” coming out on the 20 May 2011.

British MPs last week voted through the first stage of the “Abstinence Education for Girls” Sex Education Bill. This indicates to me that in general MPs feel males have no control over their “needs” and “desires”. This bill once again puts the onus on females to become the “moral gatekeepers” in – what should be – a modern society where both sexes are treated – or should be treated – equally. It is – IMHO – a dangerous precedent for a Government to set.

Gender stereotypes continue to play a function in societal judgments about the role of girls as being moral “gatekeepers”. There is no reference in the entire bill of educating boys in the same manner. While turnout was low for the vote (which will ensure sex education for girls includes ‘information and advice on the benefits of abstinence from sexual activity’ is covered in all schools), the bill will continue through the process of becoming law. The vote for this “10 minute private member´s bill” – 128 MPs present, 61 against, 67 in favour. This bill will get its second reading 20 January 2012.

The wording of the Bill implies that sole responsibility for ensuring sexual relationships are safe, fulfilling and consensual lies solely with women and girls. Education about sexual activitiy should be aimed at ALL children regardless of gender.

This bill is demeaning and woefully misguided – a message that can lead to victimisation, victim-blaming and dangerous stereotyping.

All children and teenagers have a right to high quality, comprehensive and objective sex and relationship education (SRE) in all schools, including ‘faith’ schools, which would – and should – equip young people of both genders with the information and skills for both sexes to say “no to sexual activity”, if that is what they choose, “freedom of choice” is our right.

This Bill illustrates the influence of a growing movement with vested interests in promoting and imposing a narrow, unshared and potentially damaging perspective regarding gender, sex, sexual health and abortion rights.

IMHO – this is just one step in their campaign to add “religious-bias” to sex education in our schools.

Whilst everyone agrees it is imperative ALL children have a healthy attitude to sex – and receive a solid education in this field – it should not be targeting girls alone – thus ensuring the blame, once more, lies solely at the door of women in matters of sexual activity.

I understand bill is “fronted” by Conservative MP Nadine Dorries.

We checked our bank statement recently (the Royal “we”), and discovered that two payments had been made to Telefonica in one month! Our own bill is quite low, but the second one was considerably more. We telephoned Telefonica only to be “fobbed off”, they would get back to us! Yeah, right – of course they didn´t.

We eventually found out that the bill was for a flat we had lived in previously, we moved here after leaving the apartment and actually took out a new contract at this address. The phone line at the old address being discontinued.

Several months hence – they reinstated the line in a different name and charged the bills to one of our bank accounts. Eventually, we managed to find someone at our bank who took an interest and has promised to refund the payment. They intend checking on the details given to the company and no doubt if this person passed on our bank details to Telefonica, legal action could be taken against the customer. Is it fraud? Time will tell whether anything will be done about it.

We actually phoned the number, the woman who answered was startled when confronted with someone asking why payment for their phone bill had been taken from our account. She said the phone was in the name of her mother in law and she would contact them the following day.

Allegedly, they supplied our bank details to pay the phone bill which is in their name.

The moral of this story is – if you rent accommodation long term and have a telephone line installed, when you leave you just might end up in the same position, i.e. paying another person´s bills! Fraud seems so much easier now than the days when you had to go into the bank to authorise payments.

In the UK, obviously I cannot speak for any other country, a Shepherd´s pie is a potato topped pie made with lamb (who looks after the lambs and sheep … a Shepherd, hence “Shepherd´s Pie”). While a cottage pie is made with beef. Plus other ingredients, of course.

I know food and recipes evolve, but when a chef makes a traditional dish like this, surely he, or she in this case, should call it by the traditional name. Rant over. Silly things annoy me I know, but many chefs speak to us mere mortals and home cooks as though we have no basic knowledge. One “chef” felt the need to instruct me on zest – which part of the orange or citrus fruit it came from! And to explain what tempering was! “Getting on my high horse again”. Finally, rant over.

And I have to say – some of the worst food I have been presented with (more often than not, returned uneaten), has been made by so called “professional chefs”. Sad bland cakes, burnt Yorkshire puddings, meat so overcooked it was inedible, steak so tough not even a steak knife could cut through it, trifle with absolutely no taste.

I have been reading comments online about stealing site content. Whilst I admit to finding this annoying I feel there is little can be done about it. Obviously if they steal your post “in verbatim” along with photographs and personal comments, then you can. If it is just the ingredient and method, what proof do you have unless the recipe is unique? I have seen hundreds of recipes online similar to some I regarded as my own – made up by my own hands (with a little bit of input from the brain), in the 1960s.

Unless you have written notes or have undeniable proof that you were the first person to post such a recipe on a site, you can´t. I have written notes going back years, some of the quite unique, but mostly just common and garden recipes that many people have a version of. I have one recipe written in my own childish handwriting – late 1950s – I found the identical recipe on a site!

For instance, mother has two daughters – each of us take Mum´s recipe from when she taught us how to cook. We each make minor amendments, years on both claim the recipe. But who owns the recipe? Could perhaps Mum and her sisters have done the same thing, taken Grandma´s recipes, made minor changes and again claimed them as their own? Generations down the line, two strangers, but who are distantly related say “you stole my recipe”!

We put our recipes on our site/s, fully aware that “someone” will come along and pinch them, probably more than one “someone”. You can shout and yell all you want, what will be will be. I have found several of my recipes online, copied word for word onto a site, including my spelling mistakes and bad grammar. What can I do, well complain obviously, but if they say “it is mine, not yours”, and they are prepared to fight to keep it on their site, what can you go to and is it worth it in the end?

I watched Spanish TV – one of their chefs did a tortilla (or omelette) – it was mine down to the last ingredient – made with store cupboard ingredients left in an otherwise empty pantry and fridge, very unique. He claimed it as his own and gave it a new name.

I found a recipe on a well known British site – an old recipe I concocted one night when I fancied a cheese and apple pie, shortly after marrying in the late 1960s, but did not have a recipe – I wrote the recipe and method in an old recipe book from the 1920s. The chef claimed it as her own. The method and ingredients were (for the most part) the same as my handwritten notes with very minor changes – for instance increasing the sugar by 1/2 ounce and adding “serve with cream”!

What really annoys me is when a TV chef pinches a recipe like my apple and cheese pie, then puts it on a site and slaps a copyright clause in there, and she pinched it in the first place. Dishonest, oh yes! Can I do anything about it? Unlikely.

Update – this chef has now changed the method so it is now quite different. The fact remains – she “borrowed” it in the first place, though now she has made changes, she has now “borrowed” the idea – along with another person who has made in into a Lancashire recipe!