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When I was battling Breast Cancer a number of years ago I WAS in poverty and I had no help from anyone. On a daily basis I faced a battle to find the necessary funds to buy daily essentials like food and make my way to the hospital. Chemotherapy is stressful – and believe me when undergoing that sort of treatment the last thing you need is a medical assesment. However to make ends meat and keep myself afloat I forced myself back to work too soon and ultimately it took longer for me to recover. It is not something I would advise others to do.

A while ago now I read an article on the Internet which warned those who had survived breast cancer not to eat soy products – for those of us whose cancer was oestrogen receptive. At that time I consumed a number of soy products which I thoroughly enjoyed, including a replacement for chocolate milk and also soya products in savoury dishes. This is the original article published in 2007.

Now it seems there has been a complete turnaround and the current information states quite the opposite saying it may actually help, for further information have a look at this article.

How are we supposed to know what on earth we should eat and not eat to help us fight off this disease when even the experts are unsure and quite often contradict themselves?

When I was having my treatment, one doctor said that chemo (who later admitted breast cancer was not her area of expertise) would increase my chances of survival only marginally, while my surgeon said that it would help, 3 in 100, which isn´t that high really, but as he said “it is when you are one of the three”! So even if soy increases chances of survival only marginally, if you one of the “marginally” surely it is worth it?

I was diagnosed with breast cancer in January 2004 and received an operation, chemotherapy and radiotherapy treatments that lasted until the end of August 2004.

My surgeon and oncologist both felt I was brave, but I knew better. You learn how to hide your true feelings from family and friends. I hid mine so well that not even my sister was aware that I was experiencing problems. Six years on, I am still hiding my fears and am unable to communicate with anyone about my worries that the cancer will return. And that scares the hell out of me.

I am told these fears are natural.

I do not think about it every day, just occasionally, mostly at between 4 am and 6 pm in the mornings when I am unable to sleep.

My message to other women who have been diagnosed is to seek counselling from your GP´s surgery, talk to someone other than family. If you are lucky and your surgeon and oncologist are as good as mine, then they will take the time to discuss your fears and find help for you. If you cannot do that, then talk to someone on the good chat sites, but take care … there are sites out there that are thoroughly depressing.

I read through my old entries transferred over from Beyond Contestation. These were about my feelings during and after breast cancer treatments. It amazed me how much I had forgotten, how my immume system became so depleted taking a long time to recover, the pain in my digestive system caused by the chemo resulting in me taking yet more medication, my hair falling out (every where except on my lower legs, it just become more … well more), nausea though the medication helped … all but once, skin under the left breast become raw, painful and inflamed after the radiotherapy, the changes in taste and smell, that took a while to return to normal.
Compared with many people who were receiving treatment at the same Oncology Clinic, I was lucky. My counsin had to be hospitalised a few months later in the specialist cancer hospital as she developed clots on her lungs and subsequently died, she was 50.
The good points, it gave me more time with family and friends so whatever problems I may have suffered, the treatment helped.
My hair including eyebrows and eyelashes grew back, my hair was back to its old colour, most of the grey had gone, my eyelashes were longer, eyebrows darker. The grey has slowly returned, to be expected after all I am now 62.
The Tamoxifen caused me many problems, but my time on this medication has finished and slowly my memory is returning to normal, but my hair which became thinner over the five years is still curly.
If the cancer has gone, then the treatment was worth it, if only for 5 extra years and that was all I was told I could expect. Only time will tell.
My only mistake … IMHO … was having a lumpectomy instead of a mastechtomy, hope the spelling is OK. It would have been easier I think than still having a Jordan size left boob caused by radiotherapy, which after 5 years is still painful at times, lots of scar tissue and also “orange peel” skin.

I am amazed at the women (and men) who do not check themselves regularly for any lumps, changes in the shape of the breast and skin. It is so important to catch this disease early, preferably before it spreads.

Many men are unaware that they too can get breast cancer – my uncle (Mum’s brother) had a double mastectomy many years ago and because he checked himself regularly and found the lumps while they were still relatively small – he survived into his 80s.

It takes only a little time to get to know your breasts – and it is well worth the effort.

I have recently read a number of items on the Internet regarding cancer sufferers losing their homes (and jobs) throughout the UK. One particular post reminded me of my own problems whilst being treated for breast cancer. As a result of losing my job through no fault of my own, I found myself having to live off my savings, insurance pays out for a limited time only. With savings gone and having to live off incapacity – which I hated – I tried to get a job even though I was clearly unwell – no one wanted to know – and when I tried to get unemployment benefit which would open up better options, I was advised that I simply wasn’t well enough to sign on – the advice they gave me was invaluable, but I still wanted to work – as with many other people, it is important for me to support myself and be independent. Eventually I realised that I would have to sell my home and find somewhere I could rent – it was either that or risk repossession when I could not afford the mortgage, pay all my bills including medication, and eat! Selling my home would give me something to live on until I retired. I am not moaning or wallowing in self pity – this was the “hand” I had been dealt and I just gone on with it. As I am now retired, financially I am relatively secure, but it is sad that so many people suffering life threatening illnesses are still experiencing problems of this kind.

It is now over three years since I was diagnosed with breast cancer – January 2004, and up to now I am okay. It took a long time to recover from the Chemotherapy and Radiotherapy. My health deteriorated over the next two years, no longer able to work I became depressed until one morning I said “it’s time to make the move to Spain before it’s too late”, three months later we arrived. It was hard leaving my family, but the right move for me. Since coming to Spain I have lost nearly 2 stones in weight (in 3 months) through a much healthier diet, plenty of fruit and veg – too expensive to eat like this in the UK on a basic income!

I’m fitter, can exercise and do all the daily chores that I could not do previously because of mobility and other health problems. September last year I was put on permanent incapacity benefit but I have now retired having reached 60! My health has improved and I live a relatively normal life. I still have a way to go but am getting there slowly. For me, life is good here in Spain!

Eliza, my daughter, has been introducing me to the new facilities available on this server – such as thumbnail images. It’s all rather nifty.

On Monday I was due to have my final treatment of chemotherapy, but sadly my white cell count was far too low, and combined with the high blood pressure they decided to postpone it until Thursday. Hopefully then my blood results will have improved enough to get the final dose out of the way. I say hopefully, but my emotions about the final dose are mixed. I’m pleased that I am nearly at the end, yet I dread yet another treatment. The side effects, however minimal are not fun, and I am still getting used to the hair loss. How easy it seemed when I made the decision not to continue with the cold cap!

There will be a brief period of rest before I have 15 treatments of radiotherapy spread over 3 weeks.

I’m tired at the moment. The dogs are really helping to keep me going – they are such mischief makers! My poor daughter is run ragged each day just stopping them from sticking their noses where they should not be!

These comments were saved from the old site via web archive.

Today I went to a local late night shop and stayed in the car whilst my daughter went into the store to purchase soft drinks. A car pulled up behind mine and five very large drunk football supporters emerged. One made comments about my head must be cold cos I was wearing a scarf; a second mentioned “Paki cow” and a third did an imitation of an Indian style dance. Why? Well, I can only assume that as my wig is uncomfortable I have taken to wearing a black silk scarf. Unfortunately this isn’t the only problem I have had from rude people since I lost most of my hair (very nearly bald). Some make comments, others simply stare and others point and laugh. It could be said that I am being paranoid, but when people point, make comments and laugh it is a little difficult not to be upset.

The moral of this story is this. Before you make comments about someone with very little hair, consider why? I would not wish this illness on anyone, even the ignorant Lager louts who are so rude, or the women who make sarcastic nasty comments within hearing, but it is the luck of the draw that many of us at some time or another will suffer with this dreadful illness and have to suffer the treatment but, before you make comments, think “that could be me! At some time in the future, I could be in that position.”

Comments: (These comments were cut & pasted from web archive to save them!)

Had a wonderful time at Bramham, although general tiredness prevented me from doing more.

I seem to have developed an interesting side effect from the chemotherapy – my balance is off, and I frequently find myself either walking in circles or generally loosing my balance all together. Very strange, and quite upseting on occasion.

I had my fifth dose of chemotherapy on Monday. Since then I’ve felt quite flattened, as always though these feelings pass. Thankfully!

In other news: My hair is falling out. Its taking some getting used to, especially the attention I seem to be getting. The number of people who stare and mutter, sometimes laugh is disconcerting.

On the plus side the time has finally come for us to go and collect the dogs. Tomorrow (or rather today!) at noon to be precise.